Tuesday, February 22, 2011

And then there was this boy.....

It seems like when you meet someone you kinda forget about things. Your mind is totally consumed on this special person that you forget where you left your car keys, or you find yourself reading the same paragraph multiple times because you can't concentrate, and you get butterflies in your stomach that makes you want to puke when you go out on dates....ya, this was what happened to me. When I met Eric, I was at my prime in my weight. Running 3-5 miles a day and eating healthy. Eric at that time was a little on the heavy side which lead me to kinda "join" his lifestyle of going out to eat often and not exercising as much. I want to totally blame him for my 1,000lbs weight gain, but in reality....I can only blame myself.
Eric made me feel like the most beautiful gal in the whole wide world. He loved me for me, inside and out. And I found myself thinking that I didn't need to go out running or eat healthy because I was loved for who I was. So, now that we have been together for 10 years and married for 7, I have gained over 100lbs. Yep, you read that right, one.hundred.pounds.
Don't get me wrong, in that time I did the whole Oprah thing and yo-yo'd. I have joined Weight Watcher at least 5 times, but out of those 5 I found out that I was pregnant 2 of those times and quit. The first time I joined Weight Watchers I lost 65lbs in 6 months! Then we went to Hawaii and came back from our vacation weighing 65lbs more and then some. Because I swear, the weight gain happened over night, I swear!!
With each pound that I have gained I lose a "pound" of confidence. I miss having self-esteem, it was a wonderful feeling. But while I'm typing this, I'm downing a 20oz Mountain Dew and eating peanut M&M's....hmmm...will I ever get it back?

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