I'm afraid of the scale. I know if I go on it, I'll be totally pissed/sad/disappointed in myself. I don't understand why I don't change myself. I know what I need to do to loose weight, hell I'm a pro at loosing weight, I just can't keep it off! I want my foot to heal up so I can start working out again and I want the lap band, but I'm scared. I'm scared of them putting me to sleep and me not waking up, I'm afraid of food getting stuck, I'm afraid of whatever "sliming" is (it sounds gross). But I know I need to do this. I need to do this for my health for my kids and for my future.
I don't really have a support system. My MIL is overweight but she doesn't believe in surgery, she's all for homeopathic and organic healing...(whatever) and my husband is somewhat supportive, but he doesn't believe in surgery either, and guess what? He's overweight also. My husband needs this surgery more then I do. He has hypertension, high cholesterol, and getting close to having diabetes. I'm hoping that if I get this surgery he will see how much better I feel about myself and my weight that he will want to get it too. Lead by example right?
I do have a really close friend that has the band and that is really supportive of me getting it, and I guess that's all I need right now, I think my MIL and DH will come around eventually.
I hate how I feel, I hate how I look, I hate that I"m tired and crabby all the time, I hate that I have no energy to play with my kids, I hate who I am right now. I have to do this for my health, for my future, for my kids, and for my sanity.